Chapter 1: How Gods Love Felt Like

How Gods Love Felt Like

“Sometimes God breaks your heart to save your soul.”

It’s been three months since I last saw her—as someone I loved, and as someone I believed loved me back. Not just as a person, but as a part of my story. A chapter I thought would last a lifetime.

What made us special was how natural it all felt. No proposals. No labels. Just love—fast, consuming, genuine. It came out of nowhere and wrapped us up like a storm, but it felt like home. It didn’t need words, not at first. It was in the looks we shared, in the unspoken understanding, in the long calls where we said everything and nothing at all. There was no planning, no long-term strategies, no masks. It just... was. Like we’d known each other in another life.

And then, just like that, we were strangers. The same silence that brought us together eventually swallowed us whole. And when it did, I didn’t know what to hold onto. Silence isn’t always peaceful. Sometimes it screams. In these three months, I’ve changed. Not because I wanted to, but because I had to. And strangely, it wasn’t her absence that transformed me—it was God’s presence.

I’ve been a devotee of Shri Ram and Mata Sita since I was a kid.

Every year, between Dussehra and Diwali, I’d fight for the TV remote just to watch The Legend of Prince Rama on Cartoon Network. It wasn’t just a cartoon to me. It was ritual — a tradition that made me feel something bigger than myself. That’s where it all began. That’s when I first saw what real love could look like. It wasn’t loud or flashy. It wasn’t about flowers or fancy words. It was about that unbreakable faith and the belief.  Loyalty. Sacrifice.

And standing by someone — even when it hurts. Especially when it hurts. As a child, Like everyone, I didn’t know much about relationships. But watching Shri Ram wait for Sita, walk through fire, lose her, and still honour love with grace...

That left a mark. And somewhere deep down, I started believing —

One day, I’ll love someone like that. Completely. Selflessly. With faith, not fear. Even before I understood the world, I believed in a kind of love that felt like God.

I wanted to be like Shri Ram—faithful, calm, devoted. Strong, not because I never cried, but because I knew what I stood for. And when I found her, I thought maybe that time had come. I thought maybe that love had arrived. But then, life happened.

You grow up and realize something hard: people can say they love you and still leave. They can promise forever and still disappear when the road gets bumpy. And suddenly, all those childhood stories feel like myths meant for another world.

There were nights when I told myself: maybe love isn’t real. Maybe it’s just another trick, another lie dressed up in flowers and late-night texts. Maybe all the girls are the same. That thought scared me more than being alone ever did.

But I was wrong. Not about her. But about God.

Because when everything else fell apart—when I couldn’t rely on love, career or even my own health—He showed up. Not in a thunderclap or miracle, but in small, quiet ways. In patterns. In peace. In signs. That’s when I heard Him say: "When no one else is there for you—I am."

I was not spiritual, but I believed in God, yes — but from a distance. I didn't kneel in prayer rooms or chant mantras with rosary beads. But… there was one thing. Something I didn’t even realize was divine.

Every day, for the last six years — On my way to work in the morning, amidst traffic, chaos, and life moving fast — I play the OST of Ramayana: The Legend of Prince Rama, (Sumiran Karle Manva, Janani Main Ram Doot Hanuman, Panchavati) because it makes me feel calm or living in the moment and not because someone told me to. 

Not because it was a ritual. But it made me feel peaceful. Something deeper than words. A calmness that no guided meditation, no self-help podcast, no therapy session could offer. These songs were my prayer. Even before I knew I was praying.

And I believe now, more than ever — We all have our own unique portals to the divine. Some bow before idols. Some light a candle. Some whisper in the dark. And some? Some just… Press n Play. 

This kind of faith doesn’t belong to one religion. 

It belongs to anyone who is searching. 

It belongs to the ones who feel lost, 

The ones who don’t know who to trust anymore. 

The ones who keep asking: “Why me? Why now? What was the point of it all?”

I get it. I’ve been there. Searching for closure in echoes, looking for logic in a universe that speaks in signs. And honestly… I still don’t have all the answers. But I’ve stopped needing them. Because somewhere between the silence, the chants, the numbers, and the unspoken prayers — I found something better.

Faith. The quiet kind.

The kind that doesn’t demand reasons.

The kind that just knows… If it broke me, It was building me. If it left me, It taught me how to return to myself. And if it hurt… It was holy too. So no, I don’t have the answers. But I have peace.

And sometimes…

That’s more than enough.

.

Chapter 2: Love so Divine - Her Birthday ❤️

Next Saturday. 28th June,25,

Till then, make sure this reaches someone who you feel can resemble. 

Just wanted to share these songs  : 

Sumiran Karle Manwa

Panchvati

Janani Main Ram Doot Hanuman

Shree Ram Stuti

Fun Fact? Or Divine Gift?

The Legend of Prince Rama — Soundtrack's which has been my spiritual anchor for 6 years —

This anime was re-released on January 24th, 2025 This Year.

That’s just one day after my birthday, and after some days, I went to watch it with family <3

Coincidence? Maybe. 

But to me… it felt like the Universe said Happy Birthday in a language only my soul could hear.